A previous letter here in these pages speaks to choice, it’s sacred nature, how humanity’s beautiful being-ness could not have developed to the state it now finds itself now if we somehow did not marry these two lovers – choice and circumstance.
It seems like a lofty idea sometimes to bark on about that, choice, as though it were as free as air, or as easy as breathing…. Or perhaps one doesn’t object to the idea of choice in general…. nice philosophy, even interesting to utilize once in a while while choosing between fabric, this girl over that girl, what pants will I wear today? Some folks get to delight in extreme choices as a part of their job, such as who to pass the ball to in a game where nothing can be predicted only influenced. What about ending the song on a high or low note?
But sadly, many many people get up in the morning, make their way to work, have children, meet the neighbors for dinner, go to court, have surgery, log on and zone out, all as activities of habit. We reserve choice for special occasions such as choosing ice cream over sherbet, and forget that all we do and experience would not be possible without choice. The reason it exists is our survivability itself. How do we continue as we let slip away this exercise that has allowed us to excape so many scapes in the primordial past? Why to we abdicate this power to apathy?
My thought dear one is we don’t realize the lover we had until she’s gone. It’s as old as love itself. So we almost push her out of our lives. We do the same with the other oft-forgotten lovers, Trust and Respect. Tangled in a love tryst, Trust and Respect shake their heads at us and commiserate with Choice, wondering when the worshiped aspect of Circumstance will ever be tired of human’s reliance on him.
Too many people, favoring happenstance over choice, allow the luck of the situation dictate their course under the guise of being lead by spirit. If one is only led, but forgets that they chose to follow, what is still alive in the situation? Nature does not wish us to die inside. It conspires to organize around life, to ask that it be present. The only way to do this is to continually choose to do so.
One might believe that a worldview is solid, immutable, dictated by culture and upbringing. It is not. A worldview is simply a lens through which we orient ourselves by providing an interpretation through it’s prism. At some point, we were exposed to these thoughts and we chose to accept them as they comforted us. We either felt good on a sincere level, or for some of us less fortunately souls, the comfort came as a desist of pain or fear. We chose to believe one thing over another for one reason or another. We forget – we can always change our mind.
Once upon a time, you realized you had choice. You listened to an idea, from your own heart or from someone speaking to you, writing to you in a book or message. You used to choose your thoughts. You used to discern what felt good to you to believe. We have become so entrenched in relying on the circumstances that surround us, the opinions or others, we forget that in any given moment, we can choose to believe or disbelieve. To have a thought in our mind for decades does not erase the possibility that we can change it.
Every moment has a chance within it. Choose, be present with who you choose to be, be present with your breath, and that you allow your body to breathe and your heart to pump. Look around at the people you choose to be sitting near. Be present with the street you chose to walk down. It doesn’t take one long to realize that your thoughts are also your own choice to have, or not have. Your conclusions are not automatic, but your choice to arrive there. The circumstances in which you find yourself could not wholly have happened with out choices made on your part in some way.
The interpretation of your circumstances is also your choice. Your worldview is also wholly your choice – not “that’s just the way the world is.” Grab it, hold onto it, allow it’s flexibility to flap in your arms as you wrestle to the ground the undeniable truth that ultimately, you are not a slave to your memory or anyone else’s either. Your worldview can change only because you choose it to.