I am sorry we keep missing each other. You call and I miss the ring, or I call you back and well, maybe I don’t wait long enough for you pick up.
I am sorry.
I really want to hear you, and honestly, let you know I’m feeling remiss if I let you down. What’s that? Thanks for not holding it against me. We’re good.
I appreciate how quiet you are, like an old man watching his students at the park, swing, miss, make mistakes. And when they get frustrated and come over to you, you just smile and then they get it….
Or maybe you are the serene grandma in the kitchen, the one with flour all over the walls and stove, someone yelling in the background, and pans clanging, and for some reason it brings you more joy when the kitchen fills up with more people and their opinion on how to make the perfect stuffing…..
But I really want to see you more often than just at holidays and the random wedding. Why can’t we see each other every day? What gets in the way that’s so important that we forget each other? It’s ridiculous, right? I wouldn’t forget my child at the supermarket, or forget to go to work, or forget to put my pants on before I leave the house….. (uh, never mind that last example.) You see what I mean. You are so important to me, but somehow, I let weeks go by without reaching out, feeling you in my heart or just saying hello.
It’s been a week since I started writing this letter to you. In this time, I have realized, this letter, although sincerely felt, was not necessary, because you are right here, next to me. You have been here the whole time. I feel foolish and immature for not having recognized you in all your garb and disguises. When I’m sad and I see that is temporary. When I’m angry over an injustice, you pose as the possibility that we can do better. When I’m afraid, you comfort me as I remember I’m not alone. Gratitude, you are my constant companion. I am remiss for thinking you and I were ever apart.
Thank you. 🙂